| throwing in the shovel |
[Nov. 22nd, 2005|10:27 am] |
It finally happened. I threw in the shovel. No, I didn't quit. I actually threw the shovel in an open grave and lost it. No more shovel means no more job. Oh well, my mother said, back to the proverbial drawing board!!!
And that's exactly where I went: the drawing board. More specifically, the drawing board in Room 103 at Our Lady of the Rainbow Preschool! That's right! I'm teaching preschoolers!!!
They're all sweet, except for this one PORKER named SANCHO who keeps "marking his territory" by SHITTING out back in the PETTING ZOO. "The toilet's too small!" he complains. Why you know what else is small?? My patience!!! And the gun I'm going to sneak past the metal detectors and shoot you with!!!!
The last time I shot a 7 year old...I was 8. He stole my lunch money. I stole his soul.
Yes, Kristen..."acquitted" means "innocent"!!! |
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| link to me! |
[Nov. 19th, 2005|05:52 pm] |
Also, do tell your friends that I exist, like you know, put a link in your AIM profile...
Or I will give you smallpox...
Just kidding.
Tick, tick, Kristen. |
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| killing time |
[Nov. 19th, 2005|03:40 pm] |
Saturday is a slow day for funerals. So I thought I'd post.
Made a few hundred bucks last week after that bus accident. But today is slowwwww...
I'm saving up to buy a metal detector. NO KRISTEN, I'm not going to STEAL FROM GRAVES...! But anything in the first six feet is public domain! Ever wonder where I got your birthday watch?
That's right.
Two feet under the Quarantine plot used for smallpox kids from the '40s. Ahhahha.
Kristen...you're clock is ticking... |
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| "and you shall find me a grave man" -- hamlet! |
[Nov. 18th, 2005|04:52 pm] |
I know what you're thinking! But it's not like I enjoy digging graves. It's not like it started out as a hobby. BUT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DROP YOUR ENGLISH MAJOR AND FOCUS ON YOUR ARCHEOLOGIST CAREER, KRISTEN!
I couldn't exactly get an internship quarrying for dinosaur bones, so I settled. OK!?
EVERYBODY STARTS SOMEWHERE. Charles Darwin worked in a turtle factory! Bet you didn't know that.
Just you wait, in thirty years I'm gong to discover the remains of the first human. Or the last ape. Or that brave hominid who married a gorilla and started the world as we know it. Then, who's laughing? Huh, Kristen? I'm laughing.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a funeral to hover over.
In conclusion, I'm digging graves to become famous. |
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| longest year ever |
[Nov. 17th, 2005|02:57 pm] |
So much has happened in the last year.
But TODAY, I found a NICKEL! And not a crappy 1987 nickel or even five 1986 pennies, a fucking brand new 2005 buffalo nickel. I even brought it to the coin guy to make sure the animal was a buffalo. I'm RICH! Do you know how much a buffalo nickel is worth??? It's like at least a thousand dollars. Maybe more! Maybe lots more!
ADAM's QUESTION OF THE DAY: WHAT WOULD YOU BUY WITH 1000 DOLLARS?
I'd buy a hippo. Or a wallet. And if I buy a wallet, I should really get some leather cleaner...and a money counter...and life insurance...and then after taxes, HEY WHERE'D MY FUCKING MONEY GO!??
Wait, what's that you say...how much is my nickel worth? Five CENTS! I can't even buy a Canadian dime!
I guess it's back to Buhl. Where I will probably die. I dropped out of college by the way. Who needs University when you've got two feet, a shovel and $10 a grave.
Oh.
I didn't mention that.
I'm digging graves. Man, it's been a long year. We'll catch up more tomrrow. |
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| heart burn city |
[Dec. 30th, 2004|11:50 pm] |
That's right friends, Michelle stood me up. We were all set to go out to lunch and then, that's right, she never called. What is it with girls? I mean, I'm only asking for a phone call here. Maybe I should call her...thoughts? Is that going too far? Is that too much? Maybe I should text her. Nothing long, just like 22 characters or something. Like...hi, it's me...or or...how r u...real casual, you know, throwing punctuation into the wind...girls like that, right? Anybody?
Maybe I could IM her something benign like "Sledgehammer!" but then be like "oh, sorry wrong IM....hey, what's up?" Hmm...I could dial her number "by accident" and like leave it in my pocket while i'm working out at a gym so I could be like "Oh dude, I think my phone's on...hold these large, heavy weights." Hmm. Or or or or...hmm...well, I go back to school in a few days. What have I got to lose?
BESIDES MY PRIDE KRISTEN!!!
I mean, yes, I will make a move. I have three days. NEW YEARS! Yes, on new years...at midnight! I mean, you HAVE to kiss someone at midnight! Now I just have to be the only one within a five foot radius of her when the ball drops...hmm...yes, that's it! I'll let you know what happens! I'm scared! |
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| spam |
[Dec. 28th, 2004|11:23 am] |
I checked my e-mail today for the first time in a week. All I had was spam. why do they call it spam? you can't eat it, you can't make delicious sandwiches out of it. whats the deal with that?
woah, i sound just like that funny guy from tv. you know, the one who hates jesus.
TODAY i'm going to have lunch with my friend michelle, we're going into town. I sort of have a huge crush on her!! I'll let you know how it goes.
crucify your fingers for me. |
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| alone time |
[Dec. 28th, 2004|12:49 am] |
Fixed the caps lock.
i was laying in the field watching the stars, thinking it sure is nice to be alone with the world, then BAM
crop duster in the eye.
what was THAT about?
more like CRAP BUSTER. |
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| Hello World |
[Dec. 27th, 2004|01:37 pm] |
Hi world, you don't know me, but I know you. Don't worry, I'm not a stalker! I'm Adam Slowkowski, just your average, everyday student grabbing life by the horns and balls. First off, you probably want to get to know me better. I understand. For one you should know that I'm 110% agoraphobic. For you greek scholars -- agora meaning, large spaces -- and phobic -- meaning MAKE ME GO INSANEEE. So I'll try to stay away from those.
I was born in Buhl, Idaho ( http://www.buhlidaho.us/ ) ...the Trout Capital of America and the Milwaukee of Idaho. Here are some pictures of the town water tower, etc.
http://www.buhlidaho.us/photo-gallery/index.htm
My dad is a dentist and part-time web administrator and my mom works. I have four pets - two dogs and a sister named Kristen. Don't worry, she doesn't bite!! I'm kidding. The dogs do though. So don't FUCK WITH MY PETS!!
But seriously. I'm a student at Northwestern University in Evanston, IL. I enjoy girls between the age of 18 and 22, drinking and long walks on the beach. But I'm careful not to combine all THREE of those! I'm very involved in student theater because, more than anything, I believe actors are soooo fun to hang around with. I used to act, but not anymore. Not since something my mom calls the Oliver incident. (That's when I was playing Oliver in a sixth grade Buhl Community production and I saw the audience and freaked out and started forgetting my lines and hitting people.) So now I work backstage, where it's dark. I'm actually a communications major, which is probably why I can't stop talking. Ever.
My online journal will feature such fun activities as Favorite Links, Jokes I Make Up On My Own, Dating Advise, and don't worry, you'll get plenty of good gossip about everyone invovled in my life. Today, I'm still on winter break at home. I HAD PANCAKES FOR BREAKFAST. MY KEYBOARD IS STUCK IN CAPS LOCK. I THINK IT'S BROKEN. I'M NOT YELLING AT YOU WORLD. HOLD ON. ONE SECOND. I'M NOT MAD. DON'T HATE ME. OH MAN, I WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY CHRISTMAS. BUT IF I TYPE IT LIKE THIS I'LL LOOK LIKE A CHRISTMAS NUT WHO'S REALLY INTO HOLLY AND SHIT. OK, WELL I WILL FIX THIS AND UPDATE YOU ALL SOON.
BYE-DAHO FROM I-DAHO!
ADAM S. |
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